I suffer from two deadly sins: sloth and gluttony. I don't ever want to do anything and I want what I want when I want it. This is the King Baby syndrome, although I like to think of myself as a princess. Yes, this is egotistical and down right repulsive, so welcome to my innards. I am not a goddess as those transcendentalists women say about themselves. I don't like to pretend I am something I am not just to make me feel better about myself. It is unrealistic, and I am unrealistic enough with my princess hat. I am who I am, for better or for worse. I have come to a point in my life where I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of my gluttonous and slothful ways. I am at a jumping off place. I am willing to go to any lengths to change...my body. I am sick and tired of the way I look and act to look that way!
So a little about me...starting with my weight. I am 175 lbs. It is not the heaviest I have ever been, but it is not who I want to be either. I am 5'4" so this is a little on the chunky side.
Goal One: Lose 40lbs: I have heard that "you" should have a flexible weight range because we are never one steady eddy weight so I would like to be between 135-145 lbs.
I am a size 12 in Walmart jeans, but a size 14 in just about everything else. I wear a size DD bra which is totally uncomfortable and literally back breaking. I hate it. I would love to be a C again. I wear large to exta large shirts depending on the maker. I don't even want to talk about dresses bc it would mean showing my legs which used to be a great asset and now have things like stretch marks and early signs of spider veins. Bathing suits are out of the question this year unless...I feel like my body is screaming at me to lose the weight. It is embarrasing to shop for clothes and when I get dressed in the morning there is nothing, just absolutely nothing that looks good on other than a tent that I can hide under and hope no one notices me, which with my personality is virtually impossible.
Goal Two: Size 8? That would mean I would lose 4 sizes. Is that 40lbs? I don't know. I hope so.
I love to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it. I love Moose Tracks Icecream; Hotdogs with ketchup, mustard and relish and a little cheese; Meat Lovers PIZZA with dough crust; White Cheddar Cheezits by the box; Spaghettios, spaghetti for that matter.
Goal Three: Eat more fruits and veggies, less junk
I used to be an 8 Varsity letterman in high school. Mostly, I liked the social nature of sports. I like the teams. I liked that even though I was totally wrung out from swimming a bazillion laps in the pool, Casey would look at me and go: you can do it, get in there and then he'd dive out in front of me without listening to my "yeah, but"s, so I would be forced to follow him and in the water I'd go. These days, I do nothing. When I say nothing, I mean nothing. I watch lots of tv, read a few text books, facebook and make dinner. Sometimes I don't even do chores, just because it is exhausting to do.
Goal Four: Do SOMETHING. Preferably chores and exercise.
I should mention, I have a huge spiritual component to my life. While I am egotistical as all hell, I am also beginning a journey with the God of my understanding, which for those of you who don't know, that would be GOD. I don't think there are more than one, although Genisis is raising some questions about that as it refers to God as a plural beings. Anyway! I am nine years and nine months down this path. There are several things I do on a daily basis, without fail: 1) I pray every morning and every night 2) I try to practice spiritual principals such as being honest, having integrity, awareness of God, helping others, discipline.
Goal Five: Put God in my eating habits, my dress size, my exercise and ask for help to eliminate my selfishness. Make me a temple for the Lord as they say.
It feels like I should have a date to work on some of these...
Goal Six: Wear the red dress with polka dots (sz 10) to my July 4th party!
Seems like I should have 7 goals since it is a holy number...
Goal Seven! Keep the blog up.